Scarred for life.

So my first substitute teaching experience happened today. As you can tell from the title, it will take a while to recover. I know that one day I am going to have the most perfectly decorated classroom, my kids will be angels, and I will get Teacher of the Year... Right? Okay, maybe not but I can promise you that today I did not see my future. At all.

I got a phone call at about 7:45 this morning wanting me to work a half-day. That means I can still sleep until 9:45 so score for me. So I went back to sleep for a little while, got up, got ready, and went to S.P. Livingston Elementary school (also known as hades). For real though.

Okay, so I'm already a little terrified because it's my absolute first day to substitute anywhere. Good thing I picked what I hope is the worst classroom in all of America (or the entire world). After signing in with the office and them showing me where the classroom was (noticing on the way there that the whole entire school was fenced in and locked), I walked into a room. I'm not even going to call it a classroom because it was the furthest thing from it. More than half the lights were burnt out, there were absolutely no decorations, and I all of a sudden felt depressed. I was in the classroom for five seconds and I was depressed.

It was a fifth grade ESE classroom and it was awful. There were nine students in the class, fortunately for me two of them had already been suspended so I only had seven. They have been taking FCAT all week so today was just a chill day for them. They played computer, chess, colored pictures, and got. on. my. nerves.

Lunch was about 30 minutes after I got there and they were pretty good until then. After lunch? Not so much.

I have absolutely heard more cussing today than I have in the last 10 years of my life. If you ask them to stop or be quiet, they start cussing you out. I'm talking 11 year olds who should not know the meaning of the words they are saying cussing each other out to the point that more than half the words out of their mouth were cuss words. I was literally as shocked as I've ever been in a classroom.

Well the cussing turned into arguing and the arguing turned into shoving. We aren't allowed to touch the kids at all, so at first I just stood between the two kids who were about to fight. Then another one joined in and I decided that even though one of them was literally only three ft. tall, I was still outnumbered.

So on my very first day of substitute teaching, I had to buzz the office and get some help because a fight broke out between three of the seven students that I had.

I was only there for 3 1/2 hours but it felt like five years. I have to go back to the same school next week but luckily it's the little kids.

All I have to say is bless the teacher who spends every single day with those hoodlums, I promise they will be in jail by the age 17. One of them has already been in and out of a juvenile detention center and he is 11 years old.

Today broke my heart and made me incredibly sad. It also made me thankful for my tiny elementary school, my country high school, and my christian university.