Why I need a job...

I don't have a job. I need a job. It really doesn't get much more simple than that. See, once upon a time I was a full-time nanny. I loved my job! I got paid just over $400/ week to watch two kids. I took them to school, picked them up, helped them with their homework, cleaned up after them. You know, no big deal. And though $400/ week may not seem like a lot to you rich folk out there, I simply thought I had won the lottery. I never had to worry about gas money because I had it. I never had to ask my parents for money because I had it. I never had to say no to my friends when they wanted to go out because I had money. I miss money. That may sound superficial, but without money I live a boring life. Well, after one short month of my "daycaring" the kids (that's what Sophie called it), the mother decided she didn't like going back to work. This left poor me without a job. Poor me does not like not having a job...

So, for your viewing and reading pleasure, I have compiled a list. A list of reasons I NEED a job.

5. My room cannot possibly get any more clean- I have not one piece of laundry in my dirty clothes bin, both of my beds are made, and my turtle's tank is spotless. My room is clean, vacuumed, and Febreezed (something you need to know- I am obsessed with Febreeze. I think it's wonderful.) You see, in my spare time I sometimes get in a cleaning mood. That happened yesterday. After lunch, I cleaned my entire room and washed all my dirty clothes. Today, when I woke up, I was bored after 3 episodes of Dawson's Creek (which will be discussed later) and there was simply nothing to clean. I was sad. So very sad. Since I have nothing left to clean, I need a job.

4. TV Overload- There has never been a truer statement. My days have been filled with Dawson's Creek, Gilmore Girls, The O.C., Friends, and my newest found love, Greek. Netflix has become my best friend and I feel absolutely ashamed of this. I watch TV all day long. Sometimes I have to switch up my shows because I get bored with one show, so I move on to something different. When I'm sick of Joey Potter and her oh-so-annoying smile, I switch over and fall in love with Joey Tribiani for the 17 billionth time. See how this can get tiring? I need a job.

3. I am going to get skin cancer- Where is a free place to go when you have no job and no money? The beach. Where does Alyssa go at least 3-4 days a week? The beach. I am almost African American. That is 100% truth. I feel like I am more tan in March than I was last year in August. If I keep going to the beach and getting darker, I will get skin cancer by age 24 and die. I don't want to die. Therefore, I need a job.

2. I currently have 34 cents to my name- Once again with the money talk, I know. But like I said... without money, there isn't a whole lot you can do. I like things. I like to buy things. I like places. I like to go places. Without money, that really isn't possible. While my parents have been beyond wonderful, it still would be nice to have my own money. All of my friends have jobs and they like to go out a lot. I remember once upon a time, a few weeks ago, when I could afford to go out with them. We had fun times. I can no longer afford fun times. Now the only fun times I am having are at the beach which will give me skin cancer and I will die. See how this proves that I need a job.

I know you've been waiting on my number one answer... well here we go

1. I spent $93,740,586,438 for my degree- Simply put, it should get me a job. I think a job should be GUARANTEED when you spend as much as I did on a bachelor's degree. Granted, I did graduate in the middle of the school year which is not ideal for someone trying to be a teacher. But still, a job should be part of the deal. We sell them our souls, they give us a job. I'll have to talk to good ole FHU about that one. I have to start paying back student loans soon. Very soon. How am I going to pay back student loans when I am only worth 34 cents? Because I spent more than a large fortune on 4 1/2 years of college and now have to start paying that money back... I NEED A JOB.

I think my reasons are valid. I think they are fair and they make since. So why don't I have a job? That is my question of the day. Why doesn't Alyssa have a job?

Lucky for me, I have orientation on Thursday to be a substitute teacher here in Jacksonville. While this is wonderful, it also ends at the end of May. Who would like to tell me how I am going to have a job this summer when students don't need teachers. I should have titled this blog "Why I need a job all year." Yeah, that would've been better.

So, there you have it. Until I have a job, I will continue to clean, get skin cancer, and fall in love with fictitious TV characters, and no one is gonna stop me (unless they offer me a job.)